Loneliness in Marriage

Two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Ecclesiastes 4:11-12

There are two types of loneliness: emotional and social. We can experience both of these, even in marriage.

Emotional loneliness is not feeling close to your spouse. You feel like you and your mate don’t really know each other. Social loneliness is the feeling of isolation that comes when you and your spouse have no shared activities. You don’t do anything together.

The cure to emotional loneliness comes not from cursing the darkness but from initiating conversation. Start with simple questions: “Did you eat anything exciting today?” “What was the best moment of your day?” Move to more important questions: “When you think of the future, what could I do to enhance your life?”

The cure to social loneliness is to initiate activities together. Rather than complaining that you don’t ever do anything together, plan something that you think your spouse would enjoy and invite him or her to join you. Positive action is always better than negative complaints. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step—and it is a worthwhile journey. As the book of Ecclesiastes reminds us, there are many reasons why two are better than one. Embrace that concept and seek out deeper companionship with your spouse.

PRAYER
Lord God, I am encouraged by these ideas of things to do to combat the loneliness I feel. Help me to initiate conversations and activities that will bring my spouse and me closer together. I want to take the first step. Thank you for creating us to be companions.