Positive Influence

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. Ephesians 5:1-2

Have you ever heard, “You can’t change someone else”? It’s true that you cannot change the person you love, but you can and do influence him or her every day. That’s the third reality of marriage. If you are still trying to change your spouse, then you may be a manipulator. You reason, If I do this, then my spouse will do that or If I can make him miserable enough or happy enough, then I’ll get what I want. I hate to discourage you, but you’re on a dead-end road. Even if you manage to get your spouse to change, your manipulation will foster resentment.

A better approach is to be a positive influence on your spouse. You influence by your words and actions. If you look for something your spouse is doing that you like and give verbal compliments, you are having a positive influence. If you do something that you know your spouse will like, your actions have a wholesome influence. If you treat your spouse with respect and kindness, your example begins to rub off.

In Ephesians 5, Paul instructs us to follow the example of Christ and live with love. Just as a small boy imitates his father, so we should imitate our heavenly Father. When we follow that perfect model, we can’t help but positively influence the ones we love. The reality of the power of positive influence holds tremendous potential for troubled marriages.

PRAYER
Lord, I know you are the perfect model of love, and I want to imitate you. As I do that, I pray that I would be a positive influence on my spouse.