What Are Friends For?

Read Job 15:1–21:34

1. Job spoke again: . . .
9. “God hates me and angrily tears me apart. He snaps his teeth at me and pierces me with his eyes.
10. People jeer and laugh at me. They slap my cheek in contempt. A mob gathers against me.
11. God has handed me over to sinners. He has tossed me into the hands of the wicked.
12. I was living quietly until he shattered me. He took me by the neck and broke me in pieces. Then he set me up as his target,
13. and now his archers surround me. His arrows pierce me without mercy. The ground is wet with my blood.
14. Again and again he smashes against me, charging at me like a warrior.
15. I wear burlap to show my grief. My pride lies in the dust.
16. My eyes are red with weeping; dark shadows circle my eyes.
17. Yet I have done no wrong, and my prayer is pure.” Job 16:1, 9-17

What do you most want from your friends? Think especially of your times of need, when you’re emotionally down, defeated, confused, or vulnerable. What would you want your friends to do at times like that?

In the second round of discussion between Job and his friends, Job indirectly lists the ways in which his friends could comfort him. Unfortunately, they don’t take the hint and, instead, go at him even harder. Some friends they are! As you read this passage, learn how not to relate to your friends in need.

Other lessons here include finding real wisdom; being defensive (Bildad); and having confidence in God (Job).

Job’s friends were supposed to be comforting him in his grief. Instead they condemned him for causing his own suffering (Job 16:1–17:16). Job began his second reply to Eliphaz by calling him and his friends “miserable comforters” (Job 16:2).

Job’s words reveal several ways to become a better comforter to those in pain: (1) don’t talk just for the sake of talking; (2) don’t sermonize by giving pat answers; (3) don’t accuse or criticize; (4) put yourself in the other person’s place; and (5) offer help and encouragement.

The next time someone close to you is suffering, try Job’s suggestions to comfort him or her, knowing that these suggestions were given by a person who needed great comfort. The best comforters are those who know something about personal suffering.