Acknowledging Past Hurts

Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation. Proverbs 14:9

Long-term anger, held inside, can be detrimental to your relationship. Why? Because internal anger will eventually become external. You can’t hold it in forever. Perhaps you’ve noticed that you are already like a pressure cooker—periodically blowing off steam. Your outbursts cause pain to your spouse, and he or she may lash back at you. Now you have more anger. Would you like to get rid of all of that and live a peaceful life?

Ask God to bring to your mind all the hurts of your past, and the people who hurt you. I suggest you write them down. Then lay the list before God and ask, “Have I also wronged these people? I know they hurt me, but have I been unkind to them?” If the answer is yes, then ask God to give you the courage to ask those people to forgive you for treating them unkindly. As the passage above from Proverbs says, wise and godly people admit when they have done wrong—because it’s the right thing to do, and also because it’s the path to reconciliation. Your apology may stimulate an apology from them. If both of you choose to forgive, your anger will disappear.

When this kind of reconciliation happens between you and your spouse, your relationship will improve.

PRAYER
Father, it’s easy to focus on how others have wronged me. But please help me also to be honest about when I have hurt others. I need the strength of character to admit that and make it right so that reconciliation can result.