Admitting Your Wrongs

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:8-9

A fifth reality that can change your marriage is this: Admitting my own imperfections does not mean that I am a failure.

In most troubled marriages, there is a stone wall between husband and wife that has been built over the years. Each stone represents an event in the past where one of them failed the other. These are things people talk about when they sit in the counseling office. The husband complains, “She has always been critical of everything I do. I’ve never been able to please her.” The wife complains, “He’s married to his job. He has no time for me or the children. I feel like a widow.” This wall of hurt and disappointment stands as a barrier to marital unity.

Demolishing this emotional wall is essential for rebuilding a troubled marriage. Admitting your part in building this wall does not make you a failure. It means that you are human and are willing to admit your humanity. In fact, the apostle John wrote that people who claim they have never made mistakes are just fooling themselves. Confessing sin is the first step toward being reconciled with God. Confessing past failures to your spouse is the first step toward a growing marriage.

PRAYER
Father, so often I deny that I’ve done anything wrong because I don’t want to feel like a failure. But I know that only compounds the problem. Help me to admit my wrongs to my spouse so that we can break down the wall of hurt between us.