Building Intimacy through Listening

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:13-14 (NIV)

What are the rewards of listening to your spouse? Listening is the doorway into your spouse’s heart and mind. God told Israel, “I know the plans I have for you. . . . They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). But how was Israel to know what was on God’s heart and in God’s mind? Verses 13 and 14 make it clear that they would discover the Lord when they sought him wholeheartedly. God wanted Israel to know his thoughts, but Israel had to listen.

What are you doing to seek to know the thoughts and feelings of your spouse? Listening is the key to good communication. Don’t condemn your spouse for not talking more. Rather, ask questions, and then listen to the answers. They may be short at first, especially if your spouse is not the talkative type. But once your spouse realizes that you are truly interested, she will eventually share her thoughts. Accept your spouse’s thoughts as interesting, challenging, or fascinating and he will talk more.

Listening to God brings you close to his heart. Listening to your spouse brings you the same kind of intimacy.

PRAYER
Heavenly Father, I’m so grateful for your promise that when we seek you wholeheartedly, we will find you. Please help me to devote the same kind of effort to “seeking” and knowing my spouse. Show me how to listen carefully to his or her thoughts and to value them. May this strengthen our relationship.