Communicating about Sex

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29

If there is one skill that is more important than any other in gaining sexual oneness, it is communication. Why are we so ready to discuss everything else and so reticent to communicate openly about this area of marriage? When talking about sexuality, we should endeavor to follow the apostle Paul’s advice and share helpful, encouraging words with each other. Your communication can make a dramatic difference to the level of mutual sexual satisfaction in your marriage.

Your wife will never know your feelings, needs, and desires if you do not express them. Your husband will never know what pleases you if you do not communicate. I have never known a couple who gained mutual sexual satisfaction without open communication about sexual matters. You cannot work on a problem of which you are unaware.

Let me share a practical idea to help you get started. At the top of a sheet of paper, write these words: “These are things I wish my spouse would do or not do to make the sexual part of our marriage better for me.” Write down some ideas, and then share your lists with each other. Information opens the road to growth. Remember, your goal is making sex a mutual joy.

PRAYER
Lord God, you know that talking about sex is sometimes hard for me. Help me to remember that you want my relationship with my spouse to be strong in every area—including sex. Please give us grace to speak helpfully to each other as we talk about what we like and don’t like in our sexual relationship.