Dealing with Conflicts inside the Marriage

If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. Matthew 18:15

The principle of “leaving” parents has implications when conflicts arise in a marriage. A young wife who has always leaned heavily on her mother will have a tendency to “run to Mom” when problems arise in her marriage. Any time a conflict arises, she confides in Mom. When this becomes a pattern, before long, her mother has a bitter attitude toward the son-in-law that wreaks havoc on the young couple’s relationship. In an extreme case, she may even encourage the daughter to leave her husband.

Remember that “cleaving” to your mate applies in times of conflict as well as in times of peace. If you have conflicts in your marriage—and most of us do—seek to solve them by direct confrontation with your mate. Jesus instructed his disciples that if another believer hurt them, they should go directly to that person. The same principle holds true in marriage. Your first instinct needs to be dealing directly and only with your spouse. Conflict should be a stepping-stone to growth.

If you find that you need outside help, then go to your pastor or a Christian marriage counselor. They are trained and equipped by God to give practical help. They can be objective and help you make wise decisions. By contrast, parents tend to see their own child’s side and find it almost impossible to be objective.

PRAYER
Father, when I have a conflict with my spouse, I so often want to pour out my side of the story to someone who will be sympathetic to me. But help me to remember that conflicts in our marriage need to remain between us. I pray for grace to handle the issues that arise.