Does Forgiving Equal Forgetting?

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7

There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting. One wife said, “I’ve forgiven him, but I have trouble with my feelings when I remember what he did.” Forgiveness does not destroy our memory. Our brains record every event we have ever experienced, good and bad. Memory may bring back the event and the feelings of hurt and pain. But keep in mind that forgiveness is not a feeling. Rather, it is a promise to no longer hold the sin against the other person.

So what do we do when the memory comes back and we feel the pain? We take it to God and say, “Father, you know what I’m remembering, and you know the pain I’m feeling, but I thank you that it is forgiven. Now help me to do something loving for my spouse today.” We don’t allow the memory to control our behavior. In time, the pain will diminish as we build new positive memories together as a couple. Don’t be troubled by memories. As 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us, we can bring all our worries to God. He cares about us and will help us forgive.

PRAYER
Lord, I know that you command us to forgive others when they are repentant and ask for forgiveness. It’s not optional. I want to follow your ways, but sometimes my feelings get in the way. Please help me to deal with those. Thank you for helping me to forgive my spouse.