Emotions vs. Actions

Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:13-14

How do emotions impact a marriage? Emotions are God’s gift to enrich life. Both positive and negative emotions should point us to God. Some Christians have come to distrust emotions because they have seen people who follow their feelings and hurt everyone around them. But there is a vast difference between an emotion and a decision to do something wrong. Feelings themselves are not sinful, but the actions people take based on their feelings often are. In Psalm 19, King David asked God to keep him from deliberate or “willful” sins (niv) so that he could be counted innocent. Emotions are not deliberate; they come on their own. It’s what we do with them that can be right or wrong.

Let’s take an example: Even if you’re happily married, you may feel an exciting “tingle” toward a member of the opposite sex who is not your spouse. The attraction is not sinful, but your actions may be. Take the “tingles” to God. Thank him for giving you the capacity to experience this emotion, and ask him to give you wisdom for how to reignite excitement in your marriage so you can experience it in the proper place. The attraction for someone else is an indicator that your marriage needs attention.

Let your emotions point you to God. Seek his direction. When you follow his instructions, the emotion has served its highest goal. Emotions are designed to draw us to God.

PRAYER
Father, thank you for the gift of emotions. Please help me not to be afraid or ashamed of my feelings. Instead, show me how to view them as a way to draw me to you—and, through that, closer to my spouse. Please guard my actions and help me to respond appropriately to my feelings.