Finding a Solution

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

All couples have conflicts because we are human. Humans are all unique. We all see the world differently. The common mistake is to try to force my spouse to see the world the way I see it. “If she would just think, I know she would agree with me. My way makes sense.” The problem is that what makes sense to one person does not always make sense to another. Precision is fine in math and science, but it does not exist in human relationships. As Psalm 139 makes clear, the Lord has made each one of us unique. He formed us and knew us even before we were born. We need to celebrate those differences, not let them frustrate us. We must allow for differences in human perceptions and desires.

Resolving conflicts requires that we treat our spouse’s ideas and feelings with respect, not condemnation. The purpose is not to prove our spouse wrong but to find a “meeting of the minds”—a place where the two of us can work together as a team. We don’t have to agree in order to resolve a conflict. We simply have to find a workable solution to our differences.

“What would be workable for you?” is a good place to begin. Now we are focusing on resolution rather than differences. Two adults looking for a solution are likely to find one.

PRAYER
Father, this question—What would be workable for you?—is eye opening. How often I waste time trying to convince my spouse that my way is right. Please help me instead to join with him or her in looking for a solution that works for both of us. Thank you for making us both unique.