How Not to Respond to a Controlling Spouse

Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters. 1 Peter 2:17

An overly controlling spouse is the cause of many a troubled marriage. Living with a controlling spouse kills the spirit. When one spouse treats the other as a child, that person has violated the basic idea of marriage. Marriage is a partnership that must be built on mutual respect. That’s a basic building block of any relationship. Two are better than one, the Bible says. But when one makes all the decisions alone, the value of two minds is wasted.

There are two typical ways to respond to a controlling spouse: to argue or to submit. Neither leads to genuine unity. Arguing with a controller is useless because you cannot win. You can extend the argument for two hours, but you will not win; a controlling person will not give in. As an alternative to arguing, some have chosen the road of submission. They think, I’ll go along with my spouse just to keep the peace. But this renders the person a slave to the controller’s demands, and slaves eventually rebel. External peace with internal turmoil is not the biblical idea of marriage.

The biblical idea is two people willingly seeking to meet each other’s needs. Mutual love, respect, and consideration are the marks of a Christian marriage. Tomorrow we’ll look at a more effective way to respond to a controlling spouse.

PRAYER
Father God, I want our relationship to honor you. Please show me the best way to respond to my spouse when he or she tries to exert too much control, and guard me from trying to control him or her. Help us to be respectful and considerate toward each other always.