Not Driven by Emotions

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. Proverbs 25:28

In the last few days, I’ve been sharing realities that can change your relationship. Today, we come to reality number four: My actions need not be controlled by my emotions.

For the past thirty years or more, our culture has put undue emphasis on emotions. When applied to a troubled relationship, this philosophy advises, “If you don’t have loving feelings, admit it and get out” or even, “If you feel hurt and angry, you would be hypocritical to say or do something kind to your mate.” This philosophy might sound good, but it fails to reckon with the reality that people are more than their emotions.

We have feelings, yes, but we also have attitudes, values, and actions. If we jump directly from emotions to actions and ignore attitudes and values, we will destroy our marriages. Actions that are guided by values and positive attitudes are more likely to be productive.

The proverb above compares a person without self-control to a city with broken walls. In ancient times, a city’s walls were its first and primary defense against enemies. Without strong walls, a city was vulnerable to attack. Similarly, when we let our emotions control us, we lose our perspective and are vulnerable to all kinds of temptations and hurtful behavior.

Don’t let your emotions control you. Instead, stop, think, look for the positive, affirm it, and then do something that has positive potential.

PRAYER
Father, I want to be like a well-protected city, not one with broken-down walls. But I struggle with self-control. Too often my emotions drive my actions toward my spouse. Please help me as I strive to change that.