Wisdom for Wives

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. . . . When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Proverbs 31:10-12, 26

What’s a wife to do when her husband refuses to “get with the program”? You have asked him again and again to change. You’ve told him exactly what you want, but he doesn’t budge. So what are you to do?

Let me suggest that you take a different approach. Since he isn’t changing, start with yourself. Look carefully at your own behavior and ask yourself, What have I been doing that I should not be doing? What have I been saying that I should not be saying? Your answers may include trying to control him, speaking unkindly, or harboring bitterness. Once you’ve identified them, confess these things to God and then to your husband. Even if your husband is 95 percent of the problem, the place for you to start is with your 5 percent. After all, you can change that, and when you do, your marriage will be 5 percent better.

Consider this approach from a wife who tends to treat her husband like hired help: “It was unfair of me to ask you to get rid of that tree stump right after you mowed the lawn. I know I’ve piled tasks on you before, and I’m sorry. I want you to know that I appreciate the work you did this morning.” Whatever his initial response, she has just changed the climate of her marriage.

Strive to be a wife who, like the famous “Proverbs 31 woman,” speaks wisely, kindly, and brings good to her husband.

PRAYER
Heavenly Father, please forgive me for the wrong things I have done in my marriage. I sometimes get frustrated with my husband’s actions, but I forget that I contribute to the problems in our relationship as well. Please help me to admit my part and start by changing myself. May I bring good to my husband.