Big Boys Don’t Cry

Read 2 Samuel 1:1–4:12

1. David returned from his victory over the Amalekites and spent two days in Ziklag.
2. On the third day a man arrived from Saul’s army camp. He had torn his clothes and put dirt on his head to show that he was in mourning. He fell to the ground before David in deep respect.
3. “Where have you come from?” David asked. “I escaped from the Israelite camp,” the man replied.
4. “What happened?” David demanded. “Tell me how the battle went.” The man replied, “Our entire army fled from the battle. Many of the men are dead, and Saul and his son Jonathan are also dead.” . .
11. David and his men tore their clothes in sorrow when they heard the news.
12. They mourned and wept and fasted all day for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the Lord’s army and the nation of Israel, because they had died by the sword that day. 2 Samuel 1:1-4, 11-12

Kids of playground age can make merciless fun of a boy for crying. Some fathers will too. If you had a son and he tended to show emotion, especially by shedding tears, what would you say to him?

In this reading, David and his men first hear of Saul’s death and the death of David’s close friend, Jonathan. Nobody among David’s men takes it well. Some might say that they should rejoice because now David can take his rightful place as king. But celebrating isn’t part of their reaction. You’ll learn a valuable lesson from their response.

As you read, note also how to tell the difference between persistence (good) and stubbornness (bad), how revenge can backfire, and how important it is to do justice to others.

When David and his men learned of Saul and Jonathan’s deaths, “they mourned and wept and fasted all day” (2 Samuel 1:12). David and his men were visibly shaken over the tragic news. Their actions showed their genuine sorrow over the loss of their king, their friend Jonathan, and the other soldiers of Israel who had died that day. They were not ashamed to grieve. Today, some people consider expressing emotions to be a sign of weakness. Those who wish to appear strong try to hide their feelings. But expressing our grief can help us deal with our intense sorrow when a loved one dies.

Do you tend to keep your feelings inside? Because “sadness has a refining influence on us” (Ecclesiastes 7:3), find ways to express sorrow when you feel it. Tell God exactly how you feel—he understands. And share your feelings with a close friend.