Tactful Words To Touch The Heart

I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love … for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains.
Philemon 9-10

Tact has been called the ability to organize awkward truth attractively.

The case of the runaway slave Onesimus provided Paul with a supreme test of his tactfulness, for his letter to Philemon would be the basis for the reconciliation of master and slave.

Albert Barnes highlights the tender tone of Paul’s brief message.

WALK WITH ALBERT BARNES
“The address and tact of Paul here are worthy of particular observation. If Paul had simply said, ‘I beseech you for Onesimus’; or ‘I appeal to you for your servant Onesimus,’ he would at once have reminded Philemon of his slave’s former conduct, his ingratitude and disobedience.

“But the phrase ‘my son’ makes the way easy for the mention of his name, for Paul had already found the way to Philemon’s heart before his eye lighted on the name. Who could refuse Paul—a servant of Christ—the request which he made for one he regarded as his son?

“The name Onesimus is not suggested until Paul had mentioned that Onesimus has sustained to him the relation of a ‘son’—the fruit of his labors while he was a prisoner.

“Then, when the name of Onesimus is mentioned, it would occur to Philemon not primarily as the name of a disobedient servant, but as one converted by labors of his own friend in prison.

“Was ever more delicacy shown in disarming one of prejudice and carrying an appeal to the heart?”

WALK CLOSER TO GOD
Cultivating tact will help you minimize friction and maximize communication.

Let these admonitions point the way: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). “Let your conversation be always full of grace” (Colossians 4:6).